OOoooh, Jeff. Yeah. Him. I have to appreciate his creation of these characters and the show, and all, but... I also want to beat him with my DVDs. I've been saying for ages that what he had in his head (*esp* with that whole "born bad" crap!!) and what showed up on our screens were NOT the same thing, and in the commentary he does w/Matt, he actually pretty much says that (I don't want to say too much in case you don't want that "spoiled"; not sure when the DVDs are available where you are, and/or if you'll be getting them???). And I think I might have had to hunt him down and smack him if he'd actually said that "born bad" crap again on the commentary -- I half-expected him to, but thankfully he refrained. There were FAR too many times when Neal showed his emotions and the depth of how much he really loves the people around him **when no one else was around**, so who was he conning, if it wasn't real?? No one who was "born bad" (not that I believe that's possible anyway) would have those kinds of emotions for the people he was around in this kind of scenario. If Neal was "only" a conman, yeah, he could've conned Peter for a loooonggg time about "sure, you can trust me" while having absolutely no remorse or feelings for Peter/what he was doing, etc. But that's not what he did. Even when he was doubting Peter more than ever (the whole "he's the man w/the ring" thing), he *still* was willing to sacrifice himself for Peter, and still trusted Peter to do the right thing. Yeah. He's a conman, but it's not just Kate who makes his brain leave his head -- it's people he loves, full stop. Yet (like we said), the thing he trusts least, in so many ways, is that others love him that same way. *headdesk* I think it's why he keeps trying to con them, at least sometimes. Even w/that flashback to Kate -- he loved her, and at least at that point, she loved him, too. But he was still so insecure about it, he didn't/couldn't just ask her to go work with him and Alex, he tried to con her into getting there, b/c he couldn't believe she'd trust him/love him "enough" to do it for that reason. I think a lot of his conning people in those sorts of ways were simply to protect himself if it didn't work. :-P And you know, I agree that he'd got to the "freedom at all costs" mind-set, but I also wonder if a lot of that wasn't due to how much he was thinking that Peter was going to leave him in some way or other, and he just couldn't stand the thought of being handed off to someone else yet again. He got along with Siegel okay, but still... who knew what'd happen if/when Peter tossed him aside again? Peter turned down the DC thing, but not until after Neal had already gotten to that point in his thinking. And, from Neal's POV, if Peter was willing to hand him over to someone else once and/or leave town, why wouldn't he do it again? I think that a lot of that may have come from that same protecting himself thing again. Gah!!
And I just can imagine how horrible those first few days/weeks/months were for Neal after the whole "fake my death" thing. I think it *had* to have been one of those things where it seemed like a better idea than it turned out to be. He lost *everything* and *everyone* who was important to him at that point (from his POV). And Neal thrives on people, esp. people he cares about. Gah. What heartbreak! Not that it justifies what he did, really, but just that it was at least as hard on him as it was anyone else, if not worse in some ways b/c he *knew* they were *right there*, if he would just let them in... but he didn't. Guess he found the way to "fix" his whole "impulse control" problem, b/c geeeez, don't you know he wanted to call/write/whatever a million million times during that period??
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OOoooh, Jeff. Yeah. Him. I have to appreciate his creation of these characters and the show, and all, but... I also want to beat him with my DVDs. I've been saying for ages that what he had in his head (*esp* with that whole "born bad" crap!!) and what showed up on our screens were NOT the same thing, and in the commentary he does w/Matt, he actually pretty much says that (I don't want to say too much in case you don't want that "spoiled"; not sure when the DVDs are available where you are, and/or if you'll be getting them???). And I think I might have had to hunt him down and smack him if he'd actually said that "born bad" crap again on the commentary -- I half-expected him to, but thankfully he refrained. There were FAR too many times when Neal showed his emotions and the depth of how much he really loves the people around him **when no one else was around**, so who was he conning, if it wasn't real?? No one who was "born bad" (not that I believe that's possible anyway) would have those kinds of emotions for the people he was around in this kind of scenario. If Neal was "only" a conman, yeah, he could've conned Peter for a loooonggg time about "sure, you can trust me" while having absolutely no remorse or feelings for Peter/what he was doing, etc. But that's not what he did. Even when he was doubting Peter more than ever (the whole "he's the man w/the ring" thing), he *still* was willing to sacrifice himself for Peter, and still trusted Peter to do the right thing. Yeah. He's a conman, but it's not just Kate who makes his brain leave his head -- it's people he loves, full stop. Yet (like we said), the thing he trusts least, in so many ways, is that others love him that same way. *headdesk* I think it's why he keeps trying to con them, at least sometimes. Even w/that flashback to Kate -- he loved her, and at least at that point, she loved him, too. But he was still so insecure about it, he didn't/couldn't just ask her to go work with him and Alex, he tried to con her into getting there, b/c he couldn't believe she'd trust him/love him "enough" to do it for that reason. I think a lot of his conning people in those sorts of ways were simply to protect himself if it didn't work. :-P And you know, I agree that he'd got to the "freedom at all costs" mind-set, but I also wonder if a lot of that wasn't due to how much he was thinking that Peter was going to leave him in some way or other, and he just couldn't stand the thought of being handed off to someone else yet again. He got along with Siegel okay, but still... who knew what'd happen if/when Peter tossed him aside again? Peter turned down the DC thing, but not until after Neal had already gotten to that point in his thinking. And, from Neal's POV, if Peter was willing to hand him over to someone else once and/or leave town, why wouldn't he do it again? I think that a lot of that may have come from that same protecting himself thing again. Gah!!
And I just can imagine how horrible those first few days/weeks/months were for Neal after the whole "fake my death" thing. I think it *had* to have been one of those things where it seemed like a better idea than it turned out to be. He lost *everything* and *everyone* who was important to him at that point (from his POV). And Neal thrives on people, esp. people he cares about. Gah. What heartbreak! Not that it justifies what he did, really, but just that it was at least as hard on him as it was anyone else, if not worse in some ways b/c he *knew* they were *right there*, if he would just let them in... but he didn't. Guess he found the way to "fix" his whole "impulse control" problem, b/c geeeez, don't you know he wanted to call/write/whatever a million million times during that period??