Mix: Prisoner of History
Aug. 15th, 2015 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
s2309Title: Prisoner of History
Characters: Eliza Caffrey/Alison Brooks (Neal's mother), Kathryn Hill/Ellen Parker, Neal Caffrey/Danny Brooks
Rating: PG-13
Tracks: 12
Total word count (titles, lyrics, explanation): 687
Cover dimensions: 400x400 pixels
Tracklist dimensions: 400 x 400 pixels
Content Notes: Depression, alcoholism.
Disclaimer: White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.
Summary: Eliza never wanted to go into WitSec. She thought it'd be like a cage, a prison for her instead of James. It wasn't as bad as she'd imagined. It was worse.
Credit: Elliott Brooks' Instagram for one image (the actress who (i think) played Neal's mother).
Author's Note: Title from I'm In Here by Sia. Made for the prompt 'imprisonment' on my![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hc_bingo card.
I realize how close Eliza is to Elizabeth, but I have these brainfarts sometimes. And now she refuses to take on any other name. My brain, I tell you.
Eliza and Kathryn's conversation after James shoots his supervising officer. Eliza believes too easily that James is guilty. Kathryn fights her on it, hard. They're both trapped in their own views, unable to see the other.
Eliza's determined not to enter the trap of WitSec. Kathryn's afraid for all their lives. She uses Neal, who's three and the brightest light of Eliza's life, to convince Eliza into entering WitSec. Eliza loses everyone except the one person she likes least.
Eliza resorts to alcohol to numb her pain. It burns her more than she expected.
Eliza's trapped inside her own mind. Too much alcohol, too many feelings.
She stops drinking, but the pain doesn't leave. All her family, all her friends, left behind, and she can't turn back. But she can't move forward as Alison Brooks either. She's stuck, imprisoned in herself.
She begins to crave the numbness of alcohol, but it isn't a solution. She needs something colder, something more numb, but she can't find it. She's reduced to pleading with gods she doesn't believe in.
She searches within herself. Maybe if she stops drinking, she can escape this prison she's locked herself into. Maybe.
Slowly, slowly, she makes progress, bends the bars of her cage, but she's no superwoman. It takes time. Maybe too much time.
Finally, finally a breakthrough. Light. Freedom. As much as she can get as Alison Brooks, anyway.
She's forgotten Neal for so long. She's forgotten everything for so long. The house is a shambles, the garden is worse, Neal's stealing food to get by. She holds on to him and does everything she can to fix her neglect. Neal is her light through it all.
He runs, and it's her fault. She's trapped again.
She falls in love with the sadness. There's no light left to believe in.
Characters: Eliza Caffrey/Alison Brooks (Neal's mother), Kathryn Hill/Ellen Parker, Neal Caffrey/Danny Brooks
Rating: PG-13
Tracks: 12
Total word count (titles, lyrics, explanation): 687
Cover dimensions: 400x400 pixels
Tracklist dimensions: 400 x 400 pixels
Content Notes: Depression, alcoholism.
Disclaimer: White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.
Summary: Eliza never wanted to go into WitSec. She thought it'd be like a cage, a prison for her instead of James. It wasn't as bad as she'd imagined. It was worse.
Credit: Elliott Brooks' Instagram for one image (the actress who (i think) played Neal's mother).
Author's Note: Title from I'm In Here by Sia. Made for the prompt 'imprisonment' on my
hc_bingo card.I realize how close Eliza is to Elizabeth, but I have these brainfarts sometimes. And now she refuses to take on any other name. My brain, I tell you.
The Moment I Said It - Imogen Heap
I know what you're thinking
But darling you're not thinking straight
Sadly things just happen... we can't... explain
It's not even light out,
But you've somewhere to be
No hesitation
I know what you're thinking
But darling you're not thinking straight
Sadly things just happen... we can't... explain
It's not even light out,
But you've somewhere to be
No hesitation
Eliza and Kathryn's conversation after James shoots his supervising officer. Eliza believes too easily that James is guilty. Kathryn fights her on it, hard. They're both trapped in their own views, unable to see the other.
Unarmed - Mariah McManus
I am unarmed and I have no fear
I will not budge or steer clear... Of you
So just save your words and I'll fade away now
Give me a match and I'll burn it all down
I am unarmed and I have no fear
I will not budge or steer clear... Of you
So just save your words and I'll fade away now
Give me a match and I'll burn it all down
Eliza's determined not to enter the trap of WitSec. Kathryn's afraid for all their lives. She uses Neal, who's three and the brightest light of Eliza's life, to convince Eliza into entering WitSec. Eliza loses everyone except the one person she likes least.
Isomer - Correatown
So put it in your cup but don't you swallow it down
Swill it on your tongue but don't you stumble around
Let it lift you up, don't let it bring you down
This fire
So put it in your cup but don't you swallow it down
Swill it on your tongue but don't you stumble around
Let it lift you up, don't let it bring you down
This fire
Eliza resorts to alcohol to numb her pain. It burns her more than she expected.
Every Single Night - Fiona Apple
Every single night
I endure the flight
Of little wings of white-flamed
Butterflies in my brain
Every single night
I endure the flight
Of little wings of white-flamed
Butterflies in my brain
Eliza's trapped inside her own mind. Too much alcohol, too many feelings.
I'm In Here (Piano/Vocal Version) - Sia
Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for
You to come rescue me.
I need you to hold
All of the sadness I cannot
Live with inside of me
Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for
You to come rescue me.
I need you to hold
All of the sadness I cannot
Live with inside of me
She stops drinking, but the pain doesn't leave. All her family, all her friends, left behind, and she can't turn back. But she can't move forward as Alison Brooks either. She's stuck, imprisoned in herself.
Drought - Vienna Teng
How much longer, dear angels?
Let winterlight come
And spread your white sheets over my empty house
How much longer, dear angels?
Let winterlight come
And spread your white sheets over my empty house
She begins to crave the numbness of alcohol, but it isn't a solution. She needs something colder, something more numb, but she can't find it. She's reduced to pleading with gods she doesn't believe in.
Medicine - Daughter
You've got a warm heart,
You've got a beautiful brain.
But it's disintegrating,
From all the medicine.
You've got a warm heart,
You've got a beautiful brain.
But it's disintegrating,
From all the medicine.
She searches within herself. Maybe if she stops drinking, she can escape this prison she's locked herself into. Maybe.
Various Storms & Saints - Florence + The Machine
You've got a hold on me
And I don't know how I don't just stand outside and scream
I am teaching myself how to be free
You've got a hold on me
And I don't know how I don't just stand outside and scream
I am teaching myself how to be free
Slowly, slowly, she makes progress, bends the bars of her cage, but she's no superwoman. It takes time. Maybe too much time.
Serenade - Emiliana Torrini
Morning comes
Midnight make fast with the sun
I can hear my name be reborn
On the cloud within the sky beneath the dawn
Morning comes
Midnight make fast with the sun
I can hear my name be reborn
On the cloud within the sky beneath the dawn
Finally, finally a breakthrough. Light. Freedom. As much as she can get as Alison Brooks, anyway.
Innocence - Avril Lavigne
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by
She's forgotten Neal for so long. She's forgotten everything for so long. The house is a shambles, the garden is worse, Neal's stealing food to get by. She holds on to him and does everything she can to fix her neglect. Neal is her light through it all.
Perfume And Promises - Idina Menzel
Waving goodbye but she's too tired to cry and she's wasted
A letter he wrote but it's far too exposed so he throws it away
The sound of regret as it's counting the steps back to safe
Waving goodbye but she's too tired to cry and she's wasted
A letter he wrote but it's far too exposed so he throws it away
The sound of regret as it's counting the steps back to safe
He runs, and it's her fault. She's trapped again.
Recessional - Vienna Teng
But she's looking at me, straight to center
No room at all for any other thought.
And I know I don't want this
Oh, I swear I don't want this
There's a reason not to want this but I forgot.
But she's looking at me, straight to center
No room at all for any other thought.
And I know I don't want this
Oh, I swear I don't want this
There's a reason not to want this but I forgot.
She falls in love with the sadness. There's no light left to believe in.
