I am very angry at Neal Caffrey today.

On October 20th, 2015, a friend of mine died. I knew him for only two months, but he was one of the kindest people he knew and I valued him greatly.

Today, I realised that the painted bottle he gifted me for my birthday was missing from my living room, and also that the one voice message I had of his (in which he talked about Mojo Jojo, the sweetheart), was locked on a phone whose data I couldn't access. And for the first time since he died, I really, truly missed his presence.

If I thought I was mad at Neal before...

I left off my series of S6 finale tags (I had more planned). If I start them again now, I will tear into Neal perhaps worse than he deserves. Because I've spent the past couple of hours crying, hiccoughing to a stop, and crying some more. Because for one of those two hours, I couldn't understand how the world would get back to normal again after this much pain. To hurt someone like that, intentionally, without cause, without consideration, is too cruel for words.

My nana (maternal grandfather) is really unwell and feeble. He's not going to live much longer. Someday, I'll have this moment where I realise that he's really gone.

No one should be forced to have that moment twice. Ever. Just, no. It's too painful.