s2309: (Sara)
[personal profile] s2309
Title: Gotta Stand My Ground
Characters (Pairings): Neal Caffrey, Sara Ellis (Neal/Sara)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 700
Spoilers: Till S04E16 - In The Wind
Disclaimer: White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.
Prompt: Bring On The Night (BtVS episode title - S07E10)
Summary: Bring it on. They'll be waiting.
Author's Note: For a challenge at [livejournal.com profile] gameofcards. Title from The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script.
Part of the Amis Amants 'verse. For more in this verse, click here.

She’s making the right decision by going to London, in that alternate universe where her job is the only thing that matters. And in that other alternate universe where all she cares about is love, it’s a terrible decision, and if this was a romance novel, she’d be turning around right now. But in this universe, Sara wants it all. In this universe, there is no right decision.

She’s not greedy. She wants Neal, and she wants the new job. That’s not unreasonable. But right now, there’s no way she can have both. So she picked the job. And maybe she’s losing something beautiful in the process, something she can’t get back. And she doesn’t want to make that kind of irreparable decision, she wants the chance to go back, she wants that, but she’s not sure she can have it. Some things you only get once. She’s walked away from Neal thrice now; she’s even exhausted her third time lucky.

But in the end, she doesn’t know. Maybe she’s fracturing what they have beyond any hope of repair. Maybe they’ll be better the next time. Maybe they’ll get a next time.

Maybe they won’t.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. She’s already made her choice. She’s walking away from Neal. And she’s isn’t going to look back, not too often anyway. She could try to play the lovesick maiden, but there are far too many things about the job in London that excite her.

The new position comes with an officeload of paperwork, but she still gets to go out and hunt things down. And she cannot wait to discover the less than shiny back alleys of London.

She idly wonders what’ll be the first thing she smashes with her baton. Whatever it is, it’s sure to be good.

She’s probably carrying a few pieces of Neal along with her. But she’ll find them, and hide them, and be fine. She’s always fine in the end.

-:-

Neal’s been going through a few dozen conflicting emotions in the past couple of hours, but for the moment, he’s settled on heartbreak.

He wants to properly feel the little holes that Sara’s departure left in him, wants to completely feel and get over the fact that she’s leaving, it’s always better to feel something out that to bury it. But he can’t allow himself that luxury. Because his father killed a US Senator and pinned it on Peter and left a whole host of problems behind him that need to be sorted out in a possibly less than legal fashion.

He’s angry. He wants time to properly miss her, and instead, he’s plunging himself face first into a fight against a broken system that he’s probably going to lose, and right now, in this second, all he wants to know is if he and Sara can ever have a shot at a life together.

He’s not entirely sure about that.

Every time they break apart, they become less illuminating together, less blinding, like they lost a little of their own particular special magic, like it fell into the chasm created by the treasure. Or maybe it wasn't magic they lost. Maybe they just lost a few edges, became more comfortable, fit together better. He can’t tell anymore, she’s too far away. He doesn’t know if they were getting better and getting worse and he needs to find James and get him to testify against the evidence, for Peter.

He buries Sara too quickly, far too quickly. He can feel himself resisting as he hides away all his memories of her, as he digs a hole and pushes in all the love, all the heartbreak and makes sure his mind can’t reach it again easily.

He owes this to Peter. He needs to fight for Peter. He wants to miss Sara. But he doesn’t have the time.

So he fights for Peter. He fights in every way he knows how. And he buries Sara and crosses his fingers and hopes, hopes, that it’ll be enough to free Peter. It has to be.

-:-

Bring it on. Bring on all the challenges that could be possibly thrown in their way.

They’ll be waiting.

Date: 2014-09-20 07:26 pm (UTC)
embroiderama: (White Collar - Sara)
From: [personal profile] embroiderama
Oooh, very nice! I love both of their POVs here.

Date: 2014-09-21 02:09 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you! :DD

Date: 2014-09-20 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyrose42.livejournal.com
Interesting POVs on separation, can't really call it a break-up.

Date: 2014-09-21 02:10 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
No, it isn't quite a break up.

Thank you!! :D

Date: 2014-09-20 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reve-silencieux.livejournal.com
Awww... I know you said it was going to be angsty, but quite honestly, I was ready for my heart to be torn out. This was just... bittersweet. I like that both of them still want it, despite splitting up. They want to hope. *sigh* And poor Neal can't even have the time to mourn. *hugs him*

Date: 2014-09-21 02:12 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
I said this was going to be angst because I planned for it to be angst, but Neal and Sara don't angst easily, lol.

Neal's was the saddest. I've had that in the back of my mind for a while - he clearly had emotions to deal with when Sara left, but what happens to all that once Peter was framed?

Thank you!! :D

Date: 2014-09-21 05:53 pm (UTC)
aelfgyfu_mead: Mozzie, Neal, Peter, and Elizabeth from White Collar (White Collar)
From: [personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead
I keep hoping we'll see Sara again. You do a great job on both points of view.

Date: 2014-09-22 02:09 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Awww, thanks! Me too. I hope that like the entire staff of White Collar is very carefully hiding the fact that Hilarie Burton shows up in the finale, even if it's for like five seconds.

Date: 2014-09-28 08:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treonb.livejournal.com
I like how you portray both their sides, it's really them. Sara being independent and deciding to move on, while Neal rolls with the blows and just hides everything under the surface.
Edited Date: 2014-09-28 08:12 am (UTC)

Date: 2014-09-28 02:50 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you so much!! :D Neal does tend to hide everything.

Date: 2014-09-28 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veleda-k.livejournal.com
This is so lovely. It's sad, but it's not completely without hope either. And I really love how well you get into what they're both going through--Sara refusing to play the lovesick maiden and Neal being forced to ignore that particular grief. Very well done.

Date: 2014-09-28 05:03 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
I wanted to make it all angst, but Neal and Sara refuse to be mired in it. I love that about them.

Thank you so much :3

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