s2309: (Neal&Sara)
[personal profile] s2309
Title: Colours
Characters(Pairings): Neal Caffrey, Sara Ellis (Neal/Sara)
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~500
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Non-graphic mentions of assault with a knife, blood (slightly spoilery)
Disclaimer: White Collar is Jeff Eastin’s brainchild. Not mine.
Summary: Sara tries art therapy.
Author's Note: Post anklet, slightly AU
Written for the prompt "Therapy" on my [livejournal.com profile] hc_bingo card.


Neal dabbed the brush into dark emerald paint that Sara pointed out with a crimson fingernail, trying not to look into her eyes. He stuck the brush in between her thumb and pointer and curled her fingers around it.

“There you go. You’ve got a brush and a blank canvas. Now all you have to do is move your hand.”

Sara made an odd, jerky motion with her hand that sent the brush flying towards Neal’s last unblemished undershirt.

In a move that defied gravity, Neal caught the brush before it hit him. He was about to put it back in Sara’s hand when she whispered, “Sorry.”

Neal put down the brush and held her face in his hands. He said to her nose, “You don’t ever need to apologize.”

She tried to turn away.

Neal took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes.

He used to love looking into her eyes, lying next to her and staring deep into them till he could see every fleck of colour. He’d painted them so many times, with so many expressions, under a maroon scarf, improbably reflecting a green and blue landscape, even by themselves, hazel and chestnut and just a touch of golden.

Now he could barely stand glimpsing them out of the corner of his eye.

He didn’t hate the scars along her arms or the barely visible scratch that went down the length of her neck as much as he hated her blank, empty, dead, beautiful eyes.

He looked straight into them because it was the only way he could get her to listen.

“Don’t ever apologize for what happened to you. Don’t you dare.” Briefly, he looked up as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, okay? That’s all that matters.”

Sara nodded as though she didn’t quite believe him.

He put the brush back in her hand and moved out of the way of the canvas.

“I won’t judge,” he promised as he pushed the palette away to make place for himself.

She moved her hand carefully, brush wavering with every jerking motion. When it finally reached the canvas, the paintbrush danced across the expanse.

Dots and lines and blobs of emerald became a faceless man, tall and dark and not very handsome at all. Grey and silver became a knife, black, her baton. In white and the palest of greys, blending into the canvas, herself.

In red, blood.

Down white arms and a defiantly arched neck and cheeks with the faintest touch of pink, red blood.

She dropped the brush and looked at him and for the first time in weeks of hospital and therapy and nothing, her eyes weren’t blank, empty, dead. For the first time since that dark blue night, there were tears in her eyes and on her cheeks and she threw hersef into Neal’s arms and stayed there till the shaking and tears were gone.

“Neal?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” For the first time since that dark blue night.

He smiled at her hair and held her closer.

She pushed herself away and slowly, tenderly, placed a kiss on his lips.

He caught a glimpse of her hesitant, shy, beautiful eyes.

He didn’t flinch.

Date: 2013-06-13 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nieseryjna.livejournal.com
Oh dear this is awesome. You've captured the emotions so perfectly, the picture that Sara is painting is almost screaming in my mind. Awesome!

Date: 2013-06-13 05:13 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you so much. It took a while for the painting to sound all right to me, glad you liked it!

Date: 2013-06-13 02:48 pm (UTC)
embroiderama: (White Collar - Sara)
From: [personal profile] embroiderama
Oh wow, this is a great combination of beautiful and horrible and intense. You make it clear how much Neal loves her and how she's messed up but still fighting.

Date: 2013-06-13 05:15 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you so much! I think what really got to Sara was that she had the tools to defend herself but wasn't able to.

Date: 2013-06-13 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dennih23.livejournal.com
So sad to see Sara hurt, but love that Neal is there to take care of her.

Date: 2013-06-13 05:16 pm (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Neal is extremely loyal to the ones he loves.
Thank you!

Date: 2013-06-13 06:31 pm (UTC)
kanarek13: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kanarek13
Awww, beautiful, the emotions are as vivid as the painting itself. What a wonderful way to tell the story \o/ And I love it how Neal is there for Sara ♥

Date: 2013-06-14 05:31 am (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you!
I think, in a way, Neal was almost as wrecked as Sara. Not being able to help her for the most of it would have hurt him too.

Date: 2013-06-14 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reve-silencieux.livejournal.com
Ooooh... short but so very effective. Angsty without death, just a depth of emotion from both of them. I love it. I love Neal just being there for her, being strong for her. It's a different side that we haven't seen of them. But I definitely can picture it since Neal is very loyal and loving.

Date: 2013-06-14 05:33 am (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you so much!
I don't think the show could, well, show all the sides of their complicated, crazy relationship. But that's where fanfiction steps in, right?

Date: 2013-06-21 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessappetite.livejournal.com
This was incredible. I would very seriously love to read a longer version, possibly multi-chapter.

Date: 2013-06-22 07:01 am (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you!! I will definitely keep that in mind :D

Date: 2015-04-02 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mildeamasoj.livejournal.com
Oh my shipper heart. This is perfect, this is exactly how I would expect them to react in this situation. It feels right. And it's also original, I mean - Sara painting. Never read that before, but as art therapy it makes sense. I love how Neal won't judge and how we can get a glimpse of Sara's feelings and thoughts and memories through the colors on the canvas. I love Neal's reflection about her eyes, and how the dead look in them hurts him more than the scars. And of course, I love the I-love-you's they exchange ♥

Thanks for sharing :D
Edited Date: 2015-04-02 02:02 pm (UTC)

Date: 2015-04-03 11:48 am (UTC)
sapphire2309: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sapphire2309
Thank you so much!! I'm pretty sure this was my first real N/S story, and it makes me so happy to hear that it makes sense to you :D

I feel like Sara, as much as she hides most things, is very honest with her eyes (unlike Neal, who can forge almost every nuance of expression). And after something as terrifying as this, something that leaves her feeling cold, I can't imagine how difficult it might be to look her in the eye.

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