Fic: Absolutely Not.

[s2309]

Title: Absolutely Not.
Characters (Pairings): Diana Berrigan, Mozzie, Theo Berrigan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 361
Spoilers: 5x02, Diana's plotline.
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.
Summary: Diana's son is not going to be a con man.
Author's Note: This is for Day 4 of halfamoon, for the prompt Fight, the battle between Diana and Mozzie. Prompted by leesa_perrie, thank you! It's not that great :/ Ah well. It's fic. I wrote. That's good.
Seeing as it's day 6 now, I'm behind. Oh dear.


"My son is not going to be a con man."

"But what if he wants to?"

Diana blinked rapidly to cover her weariness and summoned up a smile with some difficulty. "And how exactly would he reach that conclusion?"

"There are a number of ways in which a young, enterprising Teddy-"

"Theo."

"Theo, might discover the alluring realm of white collar crime."

"And how many of those require your presence?"

"...A considerable number, I'll admit, but it's entirely possible that the deciding factor may come from someone or something other than me."

"Do you want me to revoke your visitation rights?"

"That's the last thing I want," Mozzie said absently. His face grew increasingly concerned.

"Mozzie?"

"Don't tell me that you've signed him up for the government's brainwashing program already?"

"What?"

"Yes! All the children born to parents in law enforcement or the military are influenced using a combination of family legacy and brainwashing to follow in their parent's footsteps. There are statistics!"

"I said I didn't want him to be a criminal, how did you suddenly gather that I wanted to force Theo into being a lawman?"

"If that's not the case, how are you so sure?"

"I- fine, why don't we ask him?"

Two full-grown adults in the middle of an utterly irrational fight abruptly turned to a burbling baby.

"...Theo?" Mozzie tried.

Theo blew a spit bubble. There was complete silence till it popped.

Diana sighed. "This is going to have to wait, isn't it?"

"So we have time? That's incredibly fortuitous. I now have time to lay plans."

"Moz-zie!"

"You did indirectly accept my declaration of war, you know."

Diana looked at Mozzie, outraged. "Theo is a child."

"Are you saying I'll have to be more subtle than buying him a lock pick set for his fifth birthday?"

"I'm saying, no influencing my son and his future career choice. That applies to both of us."

"That's an... unexpectedly noble peace offering."

"That you accept."

"I will take my time, consider it for a bit."

"Time's up."

"I accept." Moz blinked in shock at the speed with which we gave in. "Can I take that back?"

"Absolutely not."

Comments

[reve-silencieux.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeeee! Oh man, I love Diana and Mozzie fic. It's one thing for Moz and Peter to interact and become 'friends' but this relationship is so much more unexpected and fun.

But I love how Moz gives in quickly just because he doesn't want to lose visitation. He really does think he's the second parent, doesn't he? :D

[sapphire2309]

Thank you! Glad you liked it.

What do you mean 'he thinks'? Of course he is! :D

[leesa_perrie]

LOL!! Oh, this is perfect!!! And Diana holds all the bargaining power at the moment, doesn't she?!! I loved the bit when they turn to ask Theo what he wanted! For a moment there I thought this was a future fic, but no, Theo is still a baby, lol! :D :D

Thank you, so glad you saw that hint that may, or may not, have been in my comment to your previous fic! :D

[sapphire2309]

She does, and she's not afraid of using it :D

I loved the hint! And it was totally there. *nodnod*

Thank you so much!!!

[joy2190.livejournal.com]

LOL

[sapphire2309]

Glad I made you laugh! :D

[ultracape.livejournal.com]

Hysterical

[sapphire2309]

Thank you! Glad you liked it.

[ladyrose42.livejournal.com]

oh for a timestamp 20 years from now to see who "won"

[sapphire2309]

Oooh, I'll keep that in mind! :D

Thank you!

[china_shop]

Ahahaha, awesome! Oh Moz!

[sapphire2309]

Thank you! Moz is awesome :D

[daria234.livejournal.com]

LOL this is so great

[sapphire2309]

Glad you liked it! :D

[sheenianni.livejournal.com]

Heee, this is perfect :D

[sapphire2309]

Thank you! :3

[pipilj.livejournal.com]

Aww love the snark between the duo.

[sapphire2309]

Thank you! Glad you liked that :D

[treonb.livejournal.com]

Awww.. I love Mozzie and Diana together :-)

But how did she let Mozzie convince her she shouldn't influence her son's choices? What are parents for ;-)

[sapphire2309]

Oh, Mozzie will totally use this promise to stop her later on! I'm afraid this is going to be a peace offering that is going to be weaponized by both of them :P

Thank you! Glad you liked it :D

[dennih23.livejournal.com]

LOL – love Diana and Moz ‘fighting’ about Theo’s future. I imagine there will be many more discussions regarding how Theo should be raised :D

[sapphire2309]

Oh, definitely!

Thank you! Glad you liked it :D

[kanarek13]

OMG, LOOOOOOOL. Yup, that kid is in for a very interesting ride as long as Moz is around, lol... This is hysterical :D :D :D

[sapphire2309]

:D Glad you liked it!

Thank you!

[hurinhouse.livejournal.com]

Ha! Adorable. The fact that Diana even listened to any of that speaks volumes to how much Moz & Neal have inserted themselves into her life.

[sapphire2309]

So true.

Thank you so much! :D