High school was not a good time for me. I think I was about fourteen when it got to the point I considered suicide. I was sitting on the floor of my room crying, holding a knife to my wrist and just wanted to get away from it all. Two things stopped me - one, I knew that even though everything felt terrible, my family loved me and I couldn't do it to them; and two, the knife felt like an option, a way out that I could take at any point at a later date, so I wasn't completely trapped. (It made sense back then.)
I've been well the past ten years - I think aikido helped me tremenously in that regard (I need it like breathing. It just fixes me.). The last time I contemplated hurting myself was after I came out to my parents, and it went away quickly. Unless something drastic happens, I don't see myself getting to that point again.
Obviously I only experienced a glimpse of what you struggle with. I'm very happy that you're feeling good now. I hope college works out great for you. I hope you continue to feel okay, and if you ever need us, don't hesitate to reach out.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-11 09:48 pm (UTC)I've been well the past ten years - I think aikido helped me tremenously in that regard (I need it like breathing. It just fixes me.). The last time I contemplated hurting myself was after I came out to my parents, and it went away quickly. Unless something drastic happens, I don't see myself getting to that point again.
Obviously I only experienced a glimpse of what you struggle with. I'm very happy that you're feeling good now. I hope college works out great for you. I hope you continue to feel okay, and if you ever need us, don't hesitate to reach out.